When You Don’t Get the Job

When you aren’t chosen for a job that you wanted and needed, rejection can make you feel terrible about yourself and lose hope in your future. These bad feelings sit in an abyss of the unknown – the not knowing of why you weren’t chosen. Rumination cycles can run amuck, and have you recalling over and over words chosen, sentences spoken, and honest answers that maybe were too much or not enough. Who knows!

In all honesty the decision of who to choose for the job seems complex and requires interview teams to make quick judgments with very little information about you. What an impossible task! This element of empathy for the interview teams and the process can lighten the pain of rejection slightly. But still, the fact that you were rejected remains a fact. Now what?

This is my philosophy, and it keeps me in the game of moving forward instead of drowning in rejection.

·      Life is for me and for you. In this context, a rejection is a signpost - a road closed sign, that alerts me to take a different path. Rejection could also mean the timing is off, a better opportunity awaits, or I am being protected from something that is not best for me and my purpose here on earth.

·      I have work to do. I take an inventory of what questions were asked and what I shared about myself in the interview. I brainstorm how I could better articulate what I shared and prepare for the next opportunity. I examine if I need more training, or if I have too much experience, and re-examine the positions of which I am applying.

·      There is always another opportunity. Each interview, each meeting, each email sent and responded to acts like a pebble dropped in a pond. Waves of opportunity expand out, like the rings that flow from where a pebble drops into water. You never know what person or opportunity will meet you as a result. The important thing to do is to expand, cause ripples of movement through connection - keep applying, interviewing, bettering yourself, and moving forward no matter what.

·      Let go and give thanks. I place my hand on my heart and wish the team that rejected me all good things, and in my mind, I thank them for being a part of my journey, even though I wished things had turned out differently, and I had been chosen for the role.

When you don’t get the job, use the rejection as a clear re-direction no matter how painful or stressful the lost opportunity is for you. Yes, feel all the feelings: fear, anger, frustration, or sadness and more. Allow it all. Stay present and observe what comes up for you. It hurts to do this, but bringing awareness to how you feel, helps your brain integrate the experience on both the intellectual and emotional levels. The integration allows for more complex perspectives and understandings to arise in your thinking and can positively impact future actions. Lastly, step into the empowering notion that life is for you, and the right path is being revealed slowly one step at a time – and sometimes that step entails not being chosen. The rejection is one moment, not who you are, and not your entire story. Your story is still unfolding and waiting to be courageously lived.